I met him in 1974, I was just getting started as a stand-up comedian and struggling. But I had one good routine: it was a three-minute conversation between Howard Cosell and Muhammad Ali where I would imitate both of them.

My name is Damian and I’m the youngest of Kathleen & Adrian’s Famous 5, though they are still yet to provide photographic evidence that would contradict rumours I’m adopted. Making me the Timmy of the Famous 5 … That’s the rest of the family down there … put your hands up … in laws & Bernie … grand kids … great grand kids … cousins … and if there are any illegitimate offspring out there, today’s probably not a good day to bring it up … I’ll introduce to the rest of the band … Aunty Dorothy on keys … Chris on guitar … and David on computer. commenting on random clips of football/soccer matches in a build up to the upcoming 1994 FIFA World Cup): Shit! Did you see that!? He must have a foot like a traction engine. Striker! And that, was a gooooooal! The proof is in the pudding and in this case the pudding, is a football... Alan : Gordon? I hope he’s not doing the dunking. I wouldn’t like to be dunked by a retired policeman. Because when you came up he’d probably go “Where’s the money?” I’d say “I don’t know, I’m just being baptised” “Down you go again”.

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Impersonating Ali: “Everybody’s talking about George Foreman, George Foreman. George Foreman’s ugly, he’s so slow. George was slow, I catch ‘em voo! voo! voo! [swinging fists]. Then I rope-a-dope, I rope-a-dope George and I’m so fast, 33 years of age, but I’m so fast I could turn off the lights and be in my bed before the room gets dark.” I’ve interviewed Van Zandt before, and liked him. I enjoyed talking to him this time, too. He has the true zeal of an enthusiast, an overwhelming passion for the music of the mid-1960s – “the renaissance”, he calls it, the absolute zenith of human cultural endeavour – and he laughs easily. He talks easily, too, about life as the perpetual sideman, always in the shadows, never the spotlight.

Alan: Unfortunately, people would rather read books about people called Dan the Daggerman from Dagenham. Alan: Sonja, this is no laughing matter. You know, if you are at a fun fair, these guys might put your head in a candyfloss machine. And they might be standing round having a great laugh at you with your big pink hair. But you may be very very dizzy. Now, Sonja, I’ve been thinking about your impending homelessness and I’ve come to a decision. I want you to move in. I also did the eulogy at Mum’s funeral. Dad used to keep copies of it and proudly handed out. Mostly to people he knew, but not always. In fact I took him on tour with me 6 months after mum died & I think it may have led to me copping a fine from that cop who pulled us over just out of Ararat … ’I’ve got this dad … No, a copy of Mum's eulogy won’t help … alright …double demerits, your most kind officer.’ A few things dad hated. He hated the tax man, he hated coppers, he hated Manly Sea Eagles (don’t we all??) But you know what, he didn’t hate too much. He preferred to be a good, decent, and honest bloke. That is how I will remember dad. He was loved by most people. I have rarely ever heard anyone say a bad word about dad. And isn’t that how we would all liked to be remembered??? Kate : I noticed a lot of bitterness. Actually I noticed you end almost every anecdote with the phrase “Needless to say, I had the last laugh.”Our love and thoughts are with Kim and Nicole and their families. Their loss first of Edna and now Lou is immeasurable. I thank them for the honour of speaking here today, I thank them for sharing Lou with us and, on behalf of all of us and our marvellous sport, I thank Lou for all that he gave. Dad also had many side hustles going on....the one I remember the most was the trophy engraving business he would come home from his day job and go downstairs at our house at Dolans Bay and work till all hours engraving trophies......he did this so that we all had everything we ever needed. He was loved and esteemed by his colleagues some of whom are with us today Ken Rigby, Glennys & Ian Collis, Geraldine Sullivan

On the way here today i was pulled over by the police, i wound down my window and the officer said “blow into this bag” i said “what for” he said “because me chips are too hot”..... Let me tell you something about the Titanic, people forget, people forget that on the Titanic's maiden voyage there were over 1000 miles of uneventful, very pleasurable cruising before it hit the iceberg!

Alan is at the factory where his book is being pulped:

Last year he made a movie in which David Wenham played a man who has a liver transplant and falls in love. Paul met his partner Rosie when they were both receiving liver transplants. He was in his late sixties at the time and she is a beautiful Balinese woman of somewhat more tender years. Art students to me are awful human beings. Not only are they insufferably pretentious but they usually end up working in McDonalds for the rest of their lives and are the sort who'd willingly spit in your burger because they think they are better than everyone else. I know this, because I WAS an art student. In recent years she had eased off travelling and had stopped driving. She remained formidably curious and physically active, but she was deaf as a post. We, as a family, are deeply appreciative of the care for her provided by her neighbours in Timor especially Maree, the Fosters and Leigh who was entrusted with realising her endless projects.