The Neuroscientist Who Lost Her Mind: My Tale of Madness and Recovery

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This is one strong lady used to being in charge and when her brain started acting off, her family really didn't know how to react, and she didn't realize it's happening, so it's a real mess for a while because no one wants to take the reins from her or tell her she's not in charge anymore. Lipska's expertise helped her understand her symptoms when she developed metastatic brain cancer in 2015, at the age of 63. Lipska - who had previously been treated for breast cancer and melanoma (skin cancer) - realized something was wrong when she was preparing for 2015's 'Winter Conference on Brain Research' in Montana. Reaching out to turn on her computer, Lipska noticed that her hand 'disappeared' when she moved it to the right and 'reappeared' when she moved it to the left. Lipska notes that, "Deep inside my brain, a full-scale war had erupted. The tumors that had been radiated were shedding dead cells and creating waste and dead tissue. Throughout my brain, the tissues were inflamed and swollen from the metastasis and the double assault of radiation and immunotherapy. What’s more, I had new tumors—more than a dozen. My blood-brain barrier…..had become disrupted.....and was leaking fluid. The fluids were pooling in my brain, irritating the tissue and causing it to swell."

Such suffering and myriads of days and weeks and months in offices, hospitals and with dozens of advocates and possible optimal medicine associations and paths. Barbara Lipska was born, raised, and educated in Poland before she immigrated to the United States in 1989 to do post-doctoral studies at Maryland's 'National Institute of Mental Health' (NIMH). In 2013 Lipska became 'Director of the Human Brain Collection Core' at NIMH, which secures post-mortem brains for research about the brain and behavior. Lipska did recover, both from the cancer and the side effects, though she's aware the 'cure' might not last forever. Still, Barbara's at peace, and very grateful to her family - as well as the doctors and other medical professionals who treated her. She says "I'm feeling great, although I am not as powerful as I used to be — both in terms of my physical strengths and emotions. I went through so much. My brain was assaulted with drugs, with radiation. I lost my vision in the left eye.....I lost some balance. I am a little disoriented spatially, so I have sometimes trouble with maps and finding my places. But, you know what? I'm alive — and that's all that counts. And I'm happy!" She wrote like a scientist, almost giving itineraries instead of building a story. When she tried to build a story I knew what she was eluding to well before she gave the reason for the story. Throwing in some visual stuff or smells because that is what writers do, felt forced. What was even more surprising to me was how her family - Polish scientists who had immigrated to the US 25 years earlier (her personal family story is fascinating without surviving two cancers - she also had breast cancer earlier ) - also failed to be alarmed by her increasing anger and frustration, her forgetting how to cook her favorite meals, and eventually even do simple math - until she had progressed significantly. One interesting side to her impaired frontal-temporal function was a loss of emotion - she didn't seem to care one bit about the fact that she was dying. She recalls feeling pretty happy most days, and completely unconcerned. That's encouraging to me actually.

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Generally Lipska’s husband, children, and grandchildren are presented quite stereotypically in her book. Her grandsons are adorable; her son, tall and handsome; and her daughter is beautiful and intelligent. I found myself occasionally wondering how Lipska, clearly a high-achieving Type-A personality, would manage if she had to describe children who were not athletic high achievers like herself. I also wondered what the descriptions of family might have been like if they'd been written by a writer other than McArdle--one more sensitive to language and nuance, who could tease compelling details out of her subject.

The author was not mad, she had deficits more in line with loss of function rather than the peculiar function that comes from psychosis where people are operating from a different frame of reference. Her speciality is schizophrenia but I just couldn't see that she became anything like that or at least not like any I have known or whose books I have read. A superb memoir from a highly respected neuroscientist who is uniquely qualified to describe her titanic battle against malignant melanoma of the brain. Barbara Lipska clearly believes in those miracles that can be achieved through medical science, and also has an iron resolve to survive. Both qualities underpin this remarkable account of sanity lost and regained.” It made for a detached read. Her access to medical facilities that most people in the world would never have access to and the way she expected that access was revolting, and she could not believe she had to wait for things. A whole hour in a waiting room! First, I think the book would have been much better with more collateral information from others (family, physicians, physical therapists she interacted with) about all these different episodes during which the author was acting bizarre. It was hard to trust the author as the narrator of these stories because she's, well, literally brain-damaged.

I made short work of this one. Was totally absorbed in her story. I find anything to do with the mind fascinating. It can be our best friend or our worst enemy. Yet, so little is known about this miraculous organ, the control center of what makes us who we are. The author is the head of the NIH, studying the brains of those with mental deficits, among them schitzophrenia. She had besten cancer twice, was an avid marathon and triathlon partcipant, when she found out she had a melanoma that had spread to her brain. Despite the many years studying the brains, she didn't recognize her own symptoms, but she was in for the fight of her life. I really enjoy books about neuroscience and the brain. I think the book that really turned me on to the subject matter was Brain on Fire. Like that book, I read this one in two sittings, and I'm pretty sure it would have been one had it not been for life getting in the way. I really enjoyed the way Lipska was able to write about how she experienced her "insanity" from the angles of both the patient and the scientist (although I have a quibble about the author's perception of "madness" and feel the title of this book is misleading). I hadn't realized what parts of our brain do what, and the ripple effect irregularities can have on cognitive functions! We are wonderfully made! Barbara Lipska, a Polish-born neuroscientist who serves as director of the Human Brain Collection Core at the National Institute of Mental Health in Bethesda, Maryland, is a long-time researcher in the field of schizophrenia. After being diagnosed with breast cancer in 2009 and melanoma in 2011, Lipska had gone on to enjoy good health and a very active lifestyle for several years. Although advised in 2011 that there was a 30% chance of the melanoma recurring, she was confident that she had beaten it. However, in 2015, the then sixty-three-year-old neuroscientist found herself gaining first-hand experience of the kind of cognitive dysfunction and paranoia seen in the people whose disease she'd studied. A number of brain tumours—metastases of the melanoma that had been removed from behind her ear a few years before—were the cause. Creierul ne fascinează cu complexitatea lui și cu misterele pe care le ascunde. Tot ce visăm, credem, simțim și facem - tot ceea ce ne face oameni - vine de la emisferele cerebrale. Noi suntem creierul nostru. Este înspăimântător ca mintea să nu mai funcționeze din cauza bolii sau a îmbătrânirii și să pierdem ce ne este mai drag: persoana noastră.'' As the inflammation goes down and the tumors shrink away, she begins to remember all the strange things she went to while her brain was swollen and being pushed on by tumors. She realizes she has lived through a situation very like schizophrenia, proving that mental illness can be created by physical stresses on the brain.